Last Thursday I forgot my power cord at school. Damnit. I had to drive all the way back to Langley to pick it up. Waste of time. God, what are you saying to me through this circumstance? I got a response: “Remember that I am the source of power in your life.” That’s nice and true. This past week I’ve been praying about my future. You know, so I don’t have to worry about it as much, to put all those unknown’s into His court. I went to a U2 concert in Portland in December. That’s not what I want to really share. I was in a car accident driving back with my wonderful sister and bro-in-law. A not so wonderful accident; we were rear ended, not our fault. Side note: I believe God did some healing on my whip-lashed neck; I prayed for healing and my neck didn’t hurt after that – Personal Healing God. So I get this phone call this past week and all I need to do is sign some form and I will receive $1000 in the mail. So I receive.
Reflecting on these events, my recent prayer requests, I think God is saying something: He is my Provider. “No worries Ben, its all good, I am the Source in your life remember?” A little nudge from the all-resourceful God.
Let’s think deeper here. Does the “1000” number have any significance? I think so. It seems like an eternal timeless number, a complete number, a number in the Bible that seems to speak of God’s timing, not our human standard of time. 1000 years are like 1 year to God and vice versa. The number 10 (10 commandments, 10 plagues) seems to symbolize completeness; 10 times 3 equals 1000 (perhaps I’m looking into this number thing too much, like the book “Bible Code”, it’s fun though) The 1000 year reign of God in Revelation seems to be used symbolically as an eternal number. Eternally God will be my Complete Provider. He reminded me that He is the Giver of “eternal gifts”.
I hear this from our world: Work hard, stay focused and never give up, and we will eventually get what we want in life. And the things we want the most in life will probably kill us. In other words, we hold the keys to our destiny, for better or worse. Further still, the greater effort we put into relieving our “self-comfort addiction”, the happier we will be. And just be who you are. Work hard to be you. It’s not all bad, it’s just distorted a bit when the core is self-centred and inward focused. “Seek first the Kingdom…” - what does that mean practically? What will God give?
There shouldn’t be so much tension within me…there is though, this inner tug-a-war. I am graduating with a Masters degree in what?? To get what security?? To get what high paying position other MA grads receive in the “real world”?? I’m a different cookie, along with my fellow colleagues in Christian grad school. I’m not in this Missionary education business for future financial gain. Don’t get me wrong, material possessions are nice. I like digital SLR cameras. I treated myself a few years back to get one of those; actually, it’s more like indulged myself. And I like fast expensive cars. Still, the pursuit for cool stuff and money is not a high value for me. I guess it bugs me that around half the world lives under the poverty line (I don’t know if that’s an accurately true stat; still, it’s probably close to that). And I live in a culture that is hungry for more and more and more. I don’t want to be perceived as a “goodie two shoes” (nice Christian guys finish last), yesterday a good friend of mine said it’s OK to do something in life for money reasons. Heck, I would probably be in Korea teaching English right now making some good coin if I wasn’t in school. One of my reasons of going overseas to teach was for the good money, aside from my love of cultures. We need money to live, and I like it too.
I think God is putting things into perspective. The big picture perspective. That far-off future I worry about. “No worries Ben, it’s all good, seek Me, My righteousness, and I will be Your Provider.” If that means to enjoy the “digital SLR’s” I receive in life, so be it. Have fun with those digital SLR’s. If it means to live frugally, than whatever happens…happens…either way I will be somewhat prosperous and taken care of. I think that’s the message God was saying to me this week: “I will take care of you Ben, trust Me, no worries.” God was giving me a glimpse through an “eternal gift” that He is the Complete Source. And the material 1000 bucks ain’t so bad too. Thanks God.